Upon returning from a Taiwan trip, Nancy Pelosi came home with an interesting new friend sitting on her head. This friend isn’t the same kind of friend that would use their power to manipulate the stock market in their favor and give you some of their borderline stolen cash. This friend is a Chinese brain worm.
As we learn from Futuramian Douglas Atler, the brain worm infects its host with ideas. This would explain why Pelosi publicly stated that China is a free country and a wonderful democracy even though it is not. For example, China has prison camps, and labor camps, and is currently executing genocide on Uyghur Muslims. Oh and also locking and welding people into their homes why the mass massacred their pets. I mean it sounds kind of like Canada but believe us, it’s worse.
What can be done with the brain worm to save Pelosi? Well someone close to her can tear it off, but they would risk having the brain-worm attach itself to them. Also, someone would need to get close to Pelosi without her elbowing them away. We wish her the best.
-Embo
